Ray Mitchell, a Male Voice, seeking Jane Austen

"...I had the pleasure of knowing that I was standing
in the very spot where Jane Austen stood..."
Ray Mitchell: Looking for Jane Austen

July, 1999

We must begin with this posting from our very-own, latter-day Mark Twain.

"7/11/99 Promises and Threats

Dear Folks,

I leave in two days with high hopes and great expectations. From the advice I have been given by you guys, I feel that I can deal with just about anything from raging feminists to any bizarre spin that some twisted sister might put on anything that Jane Austen ever said or thought she said.

I hope that I will be pampered, if not fought over, by my fellow travelers.
...

Julie can rest assured that I will walk in our Lady’s footsteps just as often as possible, and not only will I walk the walk, I will talk the talk until everyone will wish to God I had never gone on the trip. I will follow Heather’s advice to say what I will and not worry my pretty head about it. I do like the sound of that.

When I visit the tomb I expect to be so touched that I will experience emotions enough for both Ash and myself.

If you all promise to read everything I write about the trip, I will see that each of you get a genuine Jane Austen key ring or sun visor from Chawton. And yes, Ash I still have your requests for photos even though I expect a fight to the death with the ladies in tweed at Chawton who, I am sure, have a rule against photos indoors or within three miles of the house."

- Ray Mitchell

And so it all began with high hopes, high spirits, and promises of great gifts for his friends. How could we know that it would all end in a mystery? First stop -

At Steventon and Chawton

Chawton House
Photo from Ray's folded brochure

Chawton - from the road	"7/15/99 Looking for Jane Austen Dear Folks, It is my sad duty to report that Jane Austen is not to be found either at Chawton or Steventon. I am now at the library in Winchester and will visit the site of the burial this afternoon. The women in tweed were there but they had all changed into seersucker for the summer. I will, of course, have a full report at a later time, but for now just know that I am here and that I am fighting the good fight. ..." - Ray Mitchell
"7/16/99 Pissed! (in the American sense) Dear Folks, ... In general, I am pissed (not in the English sense of being drunk but in the American sense of being very mad). So far I have not been pleased with what they did with Chawton (put photo copies of stuff all over the walls, removed the beds, turned what could have been a perfectly good Jane Austen experience into a mess). Chawton cried out for a woman dressed as our Lady who could charm the visitor. Also the walk that Jane Austen took from Chawton to Alton is now a truck route and it is worth your life to walk the first half of the walk. The church at Steventon did not draw me any closer to finding Jane Austen, which is, after all, the reason I came."	Jane Austen's Writing Desk with first edition of Pride and Prejudice postcard photo
Jane Austen's Writing Desk Photo by Ray Mitchell	"Something tells me that she is, as I said yesterday, not to be found here. I know it sounds hooky, and thus goes against my grain to say it, but if one seeks Jane Austen, one need look no further than her books. There are, of course, other things that occured to me when I got to Chawton. Things like why did our Lady, her sister and her mother get put in that strange house located right on the road on that busy corner when there was that perfectly good grand house also owned by her brother? Basically I have a strong urge to go back in time and take a 2x4 among the family and get this whole thing cleared up. Then, in the current time I would like to take the same 2x4 to both Chawton and Winchester. ..." - Ray Mitchell

"7/23/99 Creaking doors and chamber pots

Dear Folks,

...What has happened is that the modern world has swallowed up Jane Austen. I have remarked before on my disappointment with Chawton. Frankly, I have to admit that they probably did the best they could, but they missed the mark as far as having anything that would appeal to a Jane Austen lover. The mark it hits is the passing tourist.

The famous "creaking door" is marked with a sign, but the location of the door makes no sense as it is a door, which would be opened by a person coming down from upstairs. Every step that anyone takes can be heard throughout the house and the creaking door story looks to be another of those stories that get started and cannot be stopped.

Ever since that fateful day some months ago when Julie so firmly set Elizabeth Bennet on a chamber pot, I have been trying to forget the image. Alas, at Chawton they have on display a chamber pot in a closet in the very bedroom in with Jane Austen slept. They do not claim that it is THE chamber pot, only that it is pot of that period. Now I have two images to get rid of.

..."

- Ray Mitchell

At Winchester

"7/16/99 Mechanical atrocity at the gravesite

Dear Folks,

[I visited] the grave site yesterday in Winchester. Ash, be glad you were not with me. In order to get a clear view of the slab I had to move a vacuum cleaner aside. As if that was not bad enough, the vacuum was one of those cute canister type that was painted up so that the top looked like a derby hat. There were two eyes painted on the canister, which made the hose look like an elephant’s trunk. Listen, I am sorry to have to report such sacrilege, but there it was.

Jane Austen's grave site
at Winchester Cathedral

Mechanical Perp
Photo by Ray Mitchell

...
"I have a strong urge to go back in time and take a 2x4 ... That vacuum cleaner would be the first thing to go.

... think about this: does not our Lady deserve better at her gravesite than a bunch of tacky fake flowers? I say we need to get behind a campaign to put fresh flowers there."

- Ray Mitchell

At Lyme Regis

"7/21/99 - Jumping and Kissing

Dear Folks,

The classes have started and I find myself not the only man among fourteen but one of two men among twenty-eight. ... Our teacher is a charming thirty-something woman who is of the Laura Ashley School of fashion, and shows no sign of tweed at all. The class is too large for much discussion but I have managed to trash Darcy and attack irony.

Yesterday we went to Lyme Regis and the women took turns jumping off the cobb into my arms. ... each night they show a movie version of the novels AND NOBODY SEEMS OFFENDED, except that there were a few moans of disgust last night when Captain Wentworth kissed Ann right on the mouth right on the street.

The classes have been fun with all kinds of strange and diverse info on our Lady and her family. You will be heartened to know that there is a great deal of referring to the text. I have a whole host of stuff to pass along but I am very rushed right now so my full report entitled "[Undershirts and beer bellies]" will have to wait.

As to the flowers [at Winchester], ... something needs to be done. I personally would like to replace that obscenity of a vacuum cleaner."

- Ray Mitchell

At Bath

"7/23/99 Undershirts and Beer Bellies

Dear Folks,

Well, I did get some satisfaction today. This morning was the end of the classroom part of the seminar and I managed to get in the last word. I was in my trash Darcy, praise Mr. Bennet mode and had just said, "I could sit down with Mr. Bennet and carry on a conversation. Darcy would not have given me the time of day." The teacher said, "That will be the last word."

This afternoon the class is off to Sidmouth. As for me, I am still in a state of travel fatigue from our all day trip yesterday to Bath. We trod every inch of every step that our Lady either walked or wrote about. Huge crowds milled around everywhere. Lots of undershirts and beer bellies. I can not think of a single character in all of Jane Austen who would have been pleased ...

Speaking of our teacher, her first name is Hazel. I have been afraid to ask what her last name is, fearing that it might be Motes. Whatever her last name is, she is a delight and has done a good job. Every time she hesitates for as much as a millionth of second over the name of a character, twenty-eight people sing out the name. These people know and love Jane Austen.

...

As to the women in the seminar, they neither pampered me or attacked me as a MAN. They have been pleasant and civil—no more and no less. I return with my virtue intact.

This will be my last from the road—More upon my return."

- Ray Mitchell

Somewhere in Retrospect (GA)

"8/3/99 Finding Jane Austen

Dear Folks,

I come creeping back to this board after returning home to find seventy two e-mails waiting my attention at the library and grass so high in my backyard that neither of my two very large dogs could be seen. ...

...

Be that as it may, I see from recent posting that I have missed out on a lot of back and forth. Let me try to play catch up here by reporting that our instructor in England quoted the director of the A&E P&P as saying that his direction to the actress playing Elizabeth was that she was to give the impression that Elizabeth would be "good in bed" (whatever that means-I forget). Anyway, that might answer some of the questions raised about her performance.

...

A bit of useless information from the trip: it takes exactly five minutes, moving at a proper funeral pace to walk from the house where Jane Austen died to the church where she is buried.

The best parts of the trip were being with people who loved our Lady, and being able to stand in so many places where she stood and see exactly what she saw when she stood there. Even as I was standing in Chawton and feeling so let down, I had the pleasure of knowing that I was standing in the very spot where Jane Austen stood. That, at least, drew me closer to her even if there was a sign on her desk saying "DO NOT TOUCH"."

- Ray Mitchell

And then—nothing!

So there it is; we have had no other word from our friend. We know that he has other photographs and other impressions, but they are withheld. I have been told—not on good authority—that Ray is using these things to negotiate a free-agent contract with The Republic of Pemberley or AUSTEN-L. However, I am familiar enough with our friend's habits and predilections to know that if he had ever intended to go for the big money, it would have been with Nordic Jane Austen. Other possibilities? I don't know - perhaps it does no good to speculate but there are those scattered news reports you all have seen. Firstly, there is the case of the missing maintenence worker in Winchester and then there is the seemingly unrelated report of a strange person walking English streets. He is described, rather vaguely, as six-foot-four, 225 pounds, and wearing barbed wire around his chest, broken glass in his shoes, and a 2x4 in his hand. We only know about him because he was arrested for possession of a really bad English accent ("Cheerio, y'all"). It's hard to know what to make of all this—Perhaps we will never know.

Read of Kate2 at Chawton and at Bath.

Here is a link to Jane Austen's home county, Hampshire

Jane in Vain is a poem by Paul Jennings
and brought back to our shores by Ray.